I really need to stop drinking like a HOBO. *wakes up on Sunday morning after “naughty schoolgirl / schoolboy party” on Saturday night*
*covers face with pillow*
Me: Oh God Dale, why do I remember dropping a big brass owl into everyone’s drinks last night?
Dalekins: Um… because you WERE dropping a big brass owl into everyone’s drinks???
Me: What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! why would I do that? Who would even give me an owl to play with??!
Dalekins: Um, no one GAVE you the owl Tash. We are all standing around admiring it on the shelf, laughing about how all our parents own the exact same owl as an ornament, you whipped it off the shelf, and started dropping it into people’s drinks and then yelling “Owl see you later” and the more booze that splashed out of everyone’s drinks when you dropped it in the more you would laugh.
Me: *covers face with pillow*
Dalekins: No man, don’t be embarrassed, everyone thought it was a total…hoot.
Me: Oh Goddddddddd, I am never being invited to that house again!! Today it’s taking a brass owl and baptizing peoples beverages, tomorrow it’s peeing on people’s couches!! THAT’S how this progresses Dale!! Why didn’t you stop me??
Dalekins: *cough* Because you moved on to bigger better things shortly after you smashed Derricks glass by dropping your owl into it…
Dalekins: … and then you proceeded to stick your finger in all my friends’ drinks and then yell “HAAAAAAAA if you drink that you’ve technically touched my VAGINA!!”
…and then fought with Greg because he said he didn’t want to drink his drink anymore. I think it went along the lines of “What the hell is wrong with my vagina??”
You were very offended.
And you kept arguing until he told you that it wasn’t your vagina that was the problem but the fact that it had technically at some stage touched MY penis.
You were very pleased with yourself after the explanation.