So I haven’t written a blog post since the 80’s. I blame Dalekins… as a muse, I feel that he should be offering me more material than he has been. There has been no slamming of bollocks in a door, or getting so drunk that he takes out what he assumes to be a bag of ice and slams it repeatedly on the floor until someone has to go over and whisper “Dale… that’s a bag of frozen calamari, it’s going to make our drinks smell like a whorehouse. We asked for ice” (No offense to whore houses. I’m sure your premises smell quite lovely. ) Nothing of the sort…
I can’t work under these conditions.
And God knows I can’t be my own muse because I’m boring as fuck. Ok no wait. I am AWESOME. As a matter of fact if I were an animal, I’d be a unicorn / possum combo. I’d pee glitter and poo rainbows. I’d be able to hang upside down from a tree and poke you in the vagina with my horn if you made me narfy. But I am just too darn modest to write about my own escapades.
I wonder if one could buy a possum on eBay. How awesome would that be!! He could sleep in bed with us!
Hmmm, apparently not. Screw you eBay.
Anyhoo, this isn’t much of a blog post, just thought I’d let everyone know I am STILL alive.
So anyways, while I write an actual blog post, here is a picture of a possum on a snowboard. Because they are THAT fucking awesome.
P.S I tagged the word "whore" to this post... I want to see the stats of how many pervs are going to click on this blog while searching for "whores", and then find a snowboarding possum.
Funny. As. Poop.