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Dalekins brush with death!

Dalekins brush with death!

There comes a time in all our lives when you come alarmingly close to death without even knowing it. Today was that day for Dalekins!

I often find myself thinking up the perfect murder plot.  Like beating someone to death with a frozen leg of lamb, cooking it and eating all the evidence! Bam take that mofo’s try prove that in court! And this morning I found myself yanking open the freezer looking for aforementioned leg of lamb, finding only a frozen chicken boob and lobbing that at Dalekins head instead! We make do with the tools we have at hand!

Why you ask am I trying to maim Dalekins? Well 2 reasons really.

First of all, Dalekins has this habit of eating all the awesome snacks we have in the cupboard and leaving me only…one. I’ll be craving some nuts for example, fabulous, I know I bought a full bag just yesterday!

*opens bag*

*moths fly out*

*one lowly little nut sits stuffed in the corner of the bag*


“Dallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle *&%$#%$@#%$^$^$%##!!”

“Wha?” *munch munch* “can thalk mouf full…”

So anyhoo… it’s because of this very reason why we no longer have any Nutella in our house.  Ever.  He will flat out eat an entire tub in an afternoon leaving me only the fumes.

So when we went grocery shopping the other day, he sneakily hid a tub of nutella under the washing powder and when I spotted it he assured me (swore on our first born) that he would control himself this time.  That he would NOT eat it all in one day, it would be an “occasional snack”


Zoom in to this morning when I felt like having some nutella on my toast!

*opens jar*

*moths fly out*

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!! Dallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!!!”

You see, he was nodding at me when I told him he needs to control his chocolate cravings which made me think he understood.  But all he was thinking in his head was "Worth ittttttttttttttt!"

If that wasn’t bad enough, after moaning at him for eating an entire jar of Nutella, I pick up my car keys stomp towards the door to leave.  He picks up the broom (that was leaning against the door) and yells at me.. “Well you’re not going to get anywhere if you leave your car behind” and thrusts the broom in my face…


*blink blink*

Cupids Kink

Cupids Kink

Hounds and My Honourary Penis!