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Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Weekly Wha...?

Disclaimer: This post is completely arb, read at your own peril. Dalekins: Why do you ALWAYS give me the Pear and current fruit bar?

Me: Because you like pears and currents and I don’t?

Dalekins: I heard you say just last night how much you love pears!

Me: You sir are a liar, I do not like pears and currents are like raisins and raisins are from the devils bum so I would never say that.

Dalekins: Luckily I recorded the conversation!

Me: You record our conversations?

Dalekins: Oh yes, for these exact arguments when I need proof?

Me: Proof of what?

Dalekins: That you love pears!

Me: I do NOT love pears.

Dalekins: But you said….! I’ll send you the recording!

Me: *waits for recording*


Dalekins in creepy high-pitched-been-kicked-in-the-nuts-voice: “Hi I’m Tash and I just luuuurve pears so very much!”

*goes back to Dalekins voice*

Dalekins: Oh isn’t that lovely, you can have the pear fruit bars then!

*Recording finishes*

Dalekins: And yet!! There it is again! In MY lunchbox, the flipping pear fruit bar!!

Me: *confused face* For the  love of all things ungrateful!!  I would never say that number one because I don’t fucking LOVE pears, and you make me sound like a drag queen who’s tucked his junk in between his legs! So screw it, from now on you’re getting dry mouldy bread crusts in your lunchbox!!”

Dalekins: Fine! But who doesn’t love pears! Is it because you hate the Cape?

Me: Wha…?



...and then he jumped right in there!