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Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Soap on a rope at dawn!!

What is it about the anonymity of being behind a computer or cellphone that seems to give people the balls to be complete dicks to one another? Consider your working environment for a minute.  Surely in your career you have at some stage received an email, probably from someone who sits on another floor, or a couple of offices down from you tearing you a new asshole because of something they have imagined you to have done or not done.

What’s happened to professionalism?

Instead of “Dear Madam, you have regrettable forgotten to give me your report blah blah” No, no, people now think it’s more appropriate to send you an email saying “You stupid ingrate, you have forgotten that report that I should have been doing myself but decided to delegate to you rather because I’d rather be embroiled in an exciting game of mine sweeper whilst scratching my hairy arse, and now I don’t have it, now what? Idiot, you should go get yourself a job in McDonalds, I hope you get hit by a bus!!”

Hmmm, maybe a bit of overkill on the example there. If not, wow, what company are you working for?!

Again, no one would ever send me an email like that because I will fucking cut you! I live by Jailhouse rules! I’ll shank you with my toothbrush and stab your report on the bristly side!

So imagine my pleasure at receiving a complaint saying my agents are unhelpful, incompetent and lazy. Neither which is true mind you, they’re the hardest working people I know and if any one deems this untrue please see above statement about jail house rules.

Soap on a Rope at dawn!!

And if it would please my company (which it won’t and I’d get my arse fired) I’d happily send back a reply:

Dear Sir /Madam

Thank you for your complaint. After a lengthy investigation I find your accusation to be untrue. I also think you're a  bit of a turd. So kindly

Always be polite, or atleast ensure that you're writing cheques that your face can cash!

...and then he jumped right in there!

You want to put WHAT up my bum?

You want to put WHAT up my bum?