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Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Reasons to vote for The Treacle!

So I have entered the SA Blog Awards 2011, and have some fantastic reasons why you should vote for my blog (besides the fact that if you don’t vote for me a puppy will be served up with noodles in Vietnam, a seal will walk into a club and a fairy will lose it’s wings – it will be your fault!) .  In case you were doubting your super intelligence in the first place. Can I just say, your bum really does look small and peachy in those jeans today, have you lost weight?  And as for you sir, well, you clearly never have to shop in the “Penis-enlargement” aisle at Pick n’ Pay *wiggles eyebrows and looks at crotch*

… Ok, who didn’t I hit with those?

Can I just stop here and say how freaking cool would it be to actually HAVE a penis enlargement aisle at Pick n’ Pay!! You’d be there pushing your trolley all innocently *whistle whistle* when WHAM, you get a big strap-on in the eye from the trolley next to you! Hate it when that happens…

So anyway, my reasons why YOU, you hot thing, should vote for meeeeeee:

  1. I want to take over the earth (This is not to be confused with Ellen De Generes’s bid for World domination – that bitch is going down! Your dancing is weird!). I want to live in the Coliseum and watch midgets fight each other in pits of jelly all day long.  Free tickets for everyone because everyone loves midgets right? RIGHT
  2. I mention the words “Bum”, “poo” or “midget” in almost every blog post I do.  See how I did that, all 3… BAM! That just happened.
  3. I do not have a vagina like a clown’s pocket.  This has nothing to do with why you should vote for me.  I just like saying that.
  4. If you vote for me and I win, I will have my head surgically stretched out like Megamind and AC/DC will be my entrance music to where ever I go.  Even when I go wee.
  5. Free Penis enlargements for everyone! Wooohoooo.

And if you DON’T vote for me…

So please click on the SA Blog Awards badge on the right hand of my site to vote!

My mind is messy: Zombies

The Great Poo Debate!