Unless you’re living under a rock, or choose not to bother yourself with what goes on in your own country. Which mind you, is completely understandable considering how depressing our news is. Apparently, the Media would have us think that good news, is NO News, or some such malarkey! So they pepper us with “Men raping dogs and babies” and “Another farmer murdered in his home” instead of “Puppy saves Child from rabid goat and then pees rainbows”. Now THAT is a story I’d like to hear! I mean really….. goats can get rabies? They don’t resemble anything scary at all actually (Have you SEEN Kujo!)
(Ok so this isn't Kujo - but how scary is this dog!!)
What’s the worst thing a goat could do? Give you a bit of a bump in the crotchal region I suppose...
Anyhoo, I digress horribly…
You will know by now that the Dalai Lama has cancelled his trip to South Africa because he was not granted his Visa in time. Now this just pisses me off because not only did we NOT have the courage of our convictions to come out and blatantly say “Mr Lama –We regret to inform you that your visa application was denied because we are FAAAAAR too high up China’s arse to want to piss them off! So we don’t want your peace loving arse in our country in case, you know, we piss them off, they get mad, and stop making all our cheap toys, cheap clothes, cheap Tupperware and STOP killing our Rhino (for their leetle bitty weeners). Because that would be a serious revenue killer.
No no, we just didn’t BOTHER getting back to him period! (Because we’re the boil on the arse of Africa and that’s how we show how professional we are!) We wrapped his application up so tightly in red tape (Made in China no doubt) that I bet we wouldn’t even be able to FIND it now!
There was talk on the news this morning about how well they had treated our deputy President a few weeks back, and how we had brokered a 20 Billion Dollar deal for South African Projects (might have been million, might even have been Rands and not dollars – not sure, I had one eye on the news and one eye on my porridge this morning) but either way, this COULD have been the reason why his visa application was being handled like it was.
I say BALLS TO THAT!
So WHAT of all these projects! We have made these deals because we are a growing country with skills and potential and lets not forget they make a shitload of money out of US too. Just turn your broeks inside out and check out the label… we PAID for those cheap arse, badly made things!
This just means that China has us by the balls and can persuade us as a country to make decisions that it’s people don’t necessarily agree with. And last time I checked as South Africans, we don’t like being held by the balls, we don’t need rhino horn to get our “beef up”, so Government please stop speaking FOR us when you don’t actually have our interests at heart! You’re making us look like a bunch of pansies who lie down and play dead when another country says so!
My apologies Mr Lama.
P.S. Classic: “The government would have granted the Dalai Lama a visa to visit the country if he hadn't cancelled his trip”, Deputy President Kgalema Motlanthe has said.
P.P.S If after writing this article you find my body riddled with ninja stars and noodles wrapped around my neck, you'll know who did it!