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The Haka

So P-divvy (Bok coach) has declared that the Haka is in danger of losing it’s potency. Is it? Is it reeeeeally P-Divvy? Because to be honest, if I was a Springbok, there would be that moment where the All Blacks are advancing on me, shouting, with their eyeballs rolling, spittle flying in my face… “Ka Mate Ka Mate Blarrrrrgh blarghhhhh” where I would be thinking “DON’T Pee your pants, don’t you DARE pee your pants – think of Margaret Thatcher naked in the rain but for God’s sake don’t pee your pants!”

But I suppose he should know, being the one who runs out / sits on his arse on the bench, and has to face 15 Maoris  with their eye rolling, stomping the ground and making that I-slit-your-throat-Mofo kind of maneuver.

His reasoning behind that statement is that everyone and their grannies are doing the Haka.  Flash mobs are forming in shopping centre’s to do the Haka, bullies in kindergartens are doing the Haka in front of the swings to intimidate the other kids, and it’s beginning to lose it’s meaning.

Now I don’t know about you, but being faced by THESE guys in a shopping centre doing the Haka and trying to intimidate me.

Is only going to end in my foot firmly separating their testicles for them. (Really boys? Flip Flops?)

THESE guys however:

May result in a bit of a Shart (fart + shit = well…. You get it)

See, the difference is allllllll in the presentation, and even though we know, that if you translated the Haka:

Ka mate ! Ka mate !

Ka ora ! Ka ora !

Ka mate ! Ka mate !

Ka ora ! Ka ora !

Tenei te tangata puhuru huru

Nana nei i tiki mai

Into English.  All you really have is:

We’ve got the Spirit! Yes We do!!

We’ve got the Spirit!



I STILL wouldn’t want to be on the business end of the All Blacks! So don’t be jealous P-Divvy, maybe just think up a little routine that we could do to intimidate them right back.  Like Die Leeu Loop maybe? Or the Hokey Pokey...

Vajazzled - Not for sensitive pansies!

Vajazzled - Not for sensitive pansies!

Fiji Vs SA