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Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Hug me... I was covered in poo!

So the funniest thing EVER happened yesterday! I go for a bit of a wee wee, stand up, flush the loo and notice that the water level in the loo is lower than normal (cause I’m a smart observant cookie like that).  Not only that but the pipe leading away from the toilet into the wall where it magically whisks your number 2’s away is leaking!

So I go outside to tell Dalekins that I think we may have a problem and I sincerely hope he hasn’t eaten any baked beans with a side of figs because if so he may have to dig a hole in the garden and erm… Well you know…

So on my way to Dalekins, who happens to be hanging the washing.. because he’s awesome like that … and I told him that if he doesn’t hang the washing I’m not telling him where I hid his new PS3 move thingy (the one where you can moer things like a Wii).  So anyhoo, I notice water running down the passage, erm right past Dalekins feet.

Me: “Dale, where is that water coming from?”

Dalekins: “I watered the garden yesterday”

Me: “Um… that was 24 hours ago you big dork!”

We both turn around simultaneously and look and the drain cover which is now seeping water and wait for it… toilet paper bits all the way down our passage!

Dalekins: “Oh dear, we’ll have to call a plumber...or an excorcist!”

Me: “Oh pish tosh, we are not wasting money just yet lets lift the drain cover and see if there is anything blocking the drain that we can you know… move around until it stops you know blocking the drain… incase it’s a kitten or something (cause imagining a drol the size of a breadbin was too awful to contemplate)

So Dalekins agrees, although he does give me a bit of a glare and a bit of a “You hate me!” before he hauls out the garden spade.

So Dalekins, shoves the spade under the drain cover and lifts it up and immediately goes green in the face and he starts to gag, so OFCOURSE I toodle over to go see what colour our little “kitten” is… and alas… lots of bits of poo come rushing out of the drain all down the passage into the grass…

Well, I start squealing… Dalekins clearly goes weak in the arms because just then the drain cover obviously became too heavy, and he drops it with a heavy PLOP, and of course as you can imagine, the splash back rose about a meter and covered our young Dalekins!

Dalekins: *blink blink*

Me: *pees my pants*

Dalekins: "Eeeeuuuuuuuuoooooooooooooooooohwwwwwwwwwwww" *runs off yelling about tetanis shots and to tell his mother he loved her!*

Later that day….

*Dalekins walking towards me looking all glum*

“I need a hug” *sad sigh*

Me: *goes in for a nice squeeze* “why snooklepoooooodle… what’s the matter?” *concerned face*

Dalekins: “I was covered in faecesssssssssssssssss… my day can only get better!”

Me: *jumps away from Dalekins as if he was a hot plate*

*stomps off to the bathroom and scrubs myself with Listerine*

The Knee Cracker

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