So tomorrow is *dun dun dunnnnnnnn* Friday the 13th, and I have been told by a good friend of mine that I HAVE to wear my undies back to front. Now you can imagine how this conversation went: “You have to wear your knickers back to front on Friday neh!”
“Tsk’ *rolls eyes* “Because it’s Friday the 13th”
“Um… but I wear a thong… the ones with the very thin string and I really don’t think my va-jay-jay is going to appreciate the… encroachment”
*more eye rolling*
“Noooo you eeeejit, inside out, not the other way round”
“Ahhhhh. But I think I did that yesterday accidentally anyways, does this mean I’m off the hook?”
So anyway no one actually knows why I am being forced to wear my knickers inside out – (What if I get in an accident! The paramedics are going to think I’m a retardddd! *makes mental note to put on Wonderbra tomorrow so they wont pay attention to me broeks*)
So anyways I decided like the smartarsey type that I am to trawl Google for some more daft superstitions!
Did you know that you should apparently never put a hat on a bed. Which makes perfect sense because what if your bed is more of a beanie person?
If you blow out all the candles on your birthday cake with the first puff you will get your wish. Ok I’m fucked with that one… too many candles, way too little oxygen *sigh*
Cows lifting their tails is a sure sign that rain is coming. Um… or it’s about to poo? I think it’s just basic etiquette to lift your tail before you poo or it would kind of be like us taking a dump while sitting at the dinner table *sniff* hmmm… there’s rain coming…?
A cricket in the house brings good luck. What? No it doesn’t it brings no sleep and sever irritation! I recommend something hard to blat it with!
Pictures of an elephant bring luck, but only if they face a door. Ok wait. I’m confused. Must the picture be facing a door, or must the elephant be facing A door when he’s posing? “ok Dumbo just look towards that door for me… *click click* lovely, you’re a tiger you’re a tiger… *click click* now take your top off!"
Fingernail cuttings should be saved, burned, or buried. Ok I got nothing. That’s just creepy.
The dried body of a frog worn in a silk bag around the neck averts epilepsy and other fits. Good luck explaining that one!
If you drop scissors, it means your lover is being unfaithful to you. *smacks Dalekins* I KNEW IT!!!!