Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)


I am having a frustrating day.  One of those days where you feel like you are going to come out of your skin but you have no idea why. See, I firmly believe that your life should be FULL of “firsts”.

As a matter of fact, it is something you should strive to have every single day, and I haven’t had one in a while.

What do I mean by a first? Well, it’s simple, when was the last time you did something for the first time ever?  Most of you are going to sit in quiet contemplation and realize that it was a long time ago.

See now ladies, a “first” would not include your husband / boyfriend asking if he could stick “it” up your bum, however, it would count if you asked him if YOU could stick it up HIS bum :P that would be a first, and HOPEFULLY a first for your man… or um, you have bigger problems than finding something to do for the first time. See and that would be a win win scenario for both of you!

So what to do today as a first… what to do…

I could do Bootcamp in the nude… but the sight of flapping boobs and a jiggly butt would perhaps scare the other ladies away…. And yet… that would be a first? (When I say “flapping”, I mean perky as all feck!)

I could launch myself into every office in the building, do a crouch, tuck and roll and a ninja fly kick and then yell “I have exorciseddddd the deeeemons... this room is now clearrrrr" before backflipping my way out… but…  I can’t backflip for shit and would probably end up knocking myself unconscious on the first try and end up on my arse with my skirt up around my head…

Oh life… though art a cruel bitch.

Any suggestions?

Buckle Up

Jealousy makes you nasty!

Jealousy makes you nasty!