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Jealousy makes you nasty!

Jealousy makes you nasty!

So yesterday I was bragging about Dalekins, as I do, on a regular basis because he’s the dogs bollocks!  I had come home from Bootcamp on Monday night, having nearly vomited at least 3 times while working out because our trainer wanted to kill us… I shit you not… kill us! So anyhoo I got home to a hot bath, dinner AND a protein shake just waiting for me… and this I have to add here, is not a once off.  He ALWAYS does things for me, opens the door, leaves notes lying around for me, spoils me rotten he does! So anyway, there I was bragging, when I was told “Oh that will stop as soon as you’re married!”… Now after a month (since we got engaged) of constant jibes from married people, you know the “Oh shame, there goes another one…” or the “Welcome to the misery club” you can understand how this comment was the last straw to break the camel’s back.

First of all, Dalekins and I have been together for 4 years, living together for 3.5…. so in all tense and purposes, married without the piece of paper.  We share a mortgage, insurance, we eat together, sleep, breathe, shout at and love each other everyday.  He has seen me at my best, my worst, my weirdest and you know what, he still fucking does awesome things for me.

So what you’re all saying is one day, and if I’m correct here in saying this, our wedding day, overnight the “I’m-a-doos-fairy” is going to fly in the window, whack Dalekins on the forehead with his “wand” and turn him into a completely different person?

Righhhhhhht, you wanna know what I think? I think if you married the wrong person, that was YOUR choice, or, you were lied to, so it is now your mistake to fix, or your marriage to decide to step out of to find some happiness.  If he / she changed after you married them, I am sorry to hear that, but then I ask with tears in my eyes, what have you done to change this? Oh that’s right, nothing but whine and piss on MY bonfire because misery loves company.

I am in no way saying I know anything about marriage but let me find out for myself, maybe just maybe consider that Dale and I are right for each other.  That neither or us will change. So allow me to constantly spew how awesome he is, without making bitter and cynical comments about how we are going to be one day.

If he does change, I’ll put my hand up and say “meh!” then I’ll loosen his brake cables… but until that day, you focus on your own shitty relationships and just be happy for me, and if you can’t be… well then poke it!

If you are so bitter, take a step back and imagine for one single moment, what IF you lost your partner in a terrible accident tomorrow… would you still feel so bitter about it?


You called my vajayjay a what!?