Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

The Chronicles of Zeus - Part One

Hmmmm *squints eyes* Something has definitely upset the blonde one today. She came home looking like a hot mess banshee (like she usually does) and immediately started chugging out of the green bottle, what my humans often call “wine”... (I'll tell you who whines a lot... you got that right, if she stopped drinking it maybe we'd get some peace in this house is what I always say!) Have some milk! It always makes ME calm. And sleepy *yawn*

Scrap that! Drink my milk and you're going down beeeatch oh yes you are *flicks claws out one at a time and nods menacingly*

Anyhoo, I digress... today she walks in looking all sorry for herself (just like that other stupid black cat that keeps rubbing itself up against Dalekins car trying to suck up to him all “Look at me look at me I'm all cute and black with white socks on” pffft – he's mine, I keel you *flicks claws out one at a time and nods menacingly*)

So anyways, the blonde one walks in mumbling something about a “dentist”... what the hell's a dentist? More to the point, what does she mean when she says “that stoopid fucking dentist, I hope she gets crabs and all HER teeth fall out of her stupidheadface!”

Well.... what she actually said was “that stoopith thucking thentisth I hope the geths crabth and all her teef fall owwww” and then she dribbled half the wine out of the side of her mouth.

So uncouth.

I do find it rather amusing though that every time she turns her back Dalekins grins at me and makes a retarded dribbly mouth kinda face. Then he laughs at his own joke. He's a funny guy. I won't tell him that that just happens to look exactly like him on Saturday night after he'd been out to watch some daft game where human men run around on two legs (and that's not the ridiculous part) throw around something that looks like a bladder and touch each others bums. For Gods sake people. Bums are there for licking, not touching, and you only ever touch / lick your own bum, NEVER someone elses.


I naturally had only one thing to say to her: “That's nice deary, did you bring me any chickencicles?”

She didn't. I don't like her. I'm going to do that thing that always makes her go red in the face. Roll all over her white bath mat, riiiiiiight before she gets out of the bath so when she gets out and steps on the mat, her foot looks like she stuck it up bunny's butt it's so full of hair.

*wheezy laugh*

*evil grin* 


Afternoon Torture!