Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Let me Quantify the pointlessness of this post

I am having a day that is about as pleasant as going to the Proctologist and realising he has no more lube left… and he is in a foul mood (You know this because he keeps clenching and unclenching his gloved hand into a fist). Not like I’d know what that feels like as I are a gurly girl, so let me quantify (hope that’s a word that makes sense here, I have ALWAYS wanted to use it!).  My day is about as shitty as going to the gynae and over-hearing the gynae talking to his nurse whilst perusing your file and mumbling the words.. “warts…”… “size of cabbages….”


Oh and to make matters worse, turns out “Quantify” makes not a fecking bit of sense in my sentence.  How sad. 

Stupid free online dictionary.  You hate me. 

It means: 

1. To determine or express the quantity of.

2. Logic To limit the variables of (a proposition) by prefixing an operator such as all or some. 

  1. I knew that.  *cough*
  2. What the fuck??

Hmmm bit of a pointless post here eh?

Ok, ok... pressure! Let me not waste your time entirelyyyyyyyy!


Did you know Porcupines can float!

How much would that suck. 

I’m swimming. I’m swimming.  “Ooooh what’s that there…?” 

My face burns. My face burns.

(See, if you're ever caught up shit creek with only a ...herd...?? of porcupines around, You'll THANK ME!!!)

... how orrsome would that raft be seriously... you wouldn't even need nails...


Green Eyed Monster

My Quest