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Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

That's a Plan Stan

God Bless my family but they do drive me bonkers! Getting us all together in one place is like trying to stick a newborn back up from whence it came. I wonder if anyone has actually tried to do that. I shall Google it and see.

*please hold*

*elevator music*

Computer says no….

Although I have once again found another thing to never try Google ever again. Do not ever use the words “shove baby back up”… because all I got was some weird persons blog that had some of the words in my search, namely “… Shove pizza crust up my bum...”

I’m very disturbed and chose to read no further.

So anyway, my mother is wanting us to all get together tomorrow which ultimately always turns into “Tash you have to make all arrangements, come up with times, places, ideas for starters, main meals, and a wine to match up with everyone’s individual dishes, it would be fab if you could also arrange Tom Jones to sing to us while we are digesting” (I may or may not be embellishing here – please don’t kill me family)

So anyway after 100 phone calls that entailed the following lines from everyone, keeping in mind this whole malarkey was not my idea in the first place and I have the thinking capability of a retarded gnat at this stage of my working week:

“I don’t know what restaurant we should go to, you decide”

“Why that restaurant?”

“Have you made the fecking arrangements yet!?”

“I don’t know where to go, you just let me know where and when and we’ll just pitch”

“That’s too late”

*starts to slam face on table*

“That’s too early”

“Why that day?”

*starts to hit myself on head with phone receiver*

“Why Tom Jones”

“Why are you so awesome Tash” (this one is a lie)

“I can’t make it that time”

*cheese grates my own face off*

So family *twitch* I will be in McDonalds tomorrow, for the entire day, we are all eating Happy meals, and we will be drinking machine coke “light”. Some sort of Soft Serve ice-cream will be for desert, and the music playing in the background will be something psychotic I am sure. (Tom Jones was booked).

Thank you, Dankie, Ke a leboga.

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