So after countless cocktails last night (White Chocolate Pinna Colladas! – Yum!! like a little bit of angel wee-wee *flutter lashes*) Dalekins and I had a conversation about me becoming a Private Investigator while I was in the bathtub (as you do)!
Stop laughing, I’m serious!
I’m thinking of new careers and this appeals to my funny bone ok! I waaaaannnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Dalekins: “Absolutely NOT!”
Me: “Whhhhhhhhhy not! You not the boss of me!”
Dalekins: “Because it’s dangerous…. And you’d have to wear a trench coat!”
Me: “What the hell?? You watch too many movies, and um why the hell will I have to wear a trench coat? This isn’t the 20’s! I will not be smoking cigars in a black and white office saying things like “She was a long-legged dame who had legs up to heaven, if heaven was attached to a suspender belt.” Besides, I wouldn’t be investigating stuff in Beirut, just like… around here… you know, taking photo’s of people shtuping people they’re not meant to be shtuping!”
Dalekins (now with dreamy look): “Wait… what would you wear underneath your trench coat?”
*throws wet sponge at his head*
Me: “Just think, I could be like Magnum P.I and drive a Ferrari! And and and, you could be my Higgins!”
Dalekins: *rubs the top of his head and frowns* “Are you saying I am bald, fat and have a dodgy porn moustache!?”
Me: “Um, no? I’m saying you’re rich and resourceful” (I’m smartarsey that way!)
Dalekins: *looks down at Zeus* “Well, I suppose we already have a Zeus… all we would need now is an Appolo… *sighs* Okaaaaay I suppose you can”
(See now, I KNOW this is because he hasn't stopped focusing on the farking trench coat yet!)
Me: “See, it’s FATE!!”
Right who needs their partner investigated? Are you suspecting that your man / woman is shtuping someone who’s not you! Found any dodgy coloured pubes in your bed that does not match YOUR hair colour?! I am here to help you!
Yay for us, it's weekend!! Don't get arrested! ;)