Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Happy Happy Blah Blah

So another year is over! Can you believe it... and here I am still deer-in-the-headlights because Christmas is over and I have no more nice things addressed to me to unwrap and 'whoop-whoop' about.. how sad. I love Christmas... funny that... being agnostic and all... but for me its all about the family and friends.... and oh bugger it who am I kidding, it's all about the LOOT!! Oh and lets not forget the ridiculous amount of nyummies you can shovel down your gullet over christmas time... roast potatoes... sweet Lord... every time I eat one I swear and an angel gets it's wings. :) But I am paying for this indulgence I must say... you can spot every last little roastie on my bum cheeks...! I got spoilt rotten mind you, always a good thing :) and Im lucky enough to have my birthday just 2 weeks before christmas too, so pa-POW double whammy of loot! (Hang your head in shame you cretins who forgot about me on my special day!! P.S. I do still take all major credit cards).

And now the new year... 2009. Thank goodness is all I can say, 2008 wasn't so great.  Ok so no one (very close to me) popped their clogs.  My hair didnt fall out or catch fire.  I still have my health (although it's the mental one Im more worried abooooot).  2008 Was just a very stressful year and to be quite honest if 2009 is going to be like that then quite honestly you CAN POKE IT UNIVERSE!!!! right up the chimney pipe!

So Universe, my list of demands:

* My dream job (this is to fall in my lap, need no fancy shmancy skills or interviews) and I want to know it when it lands on my lap ok, I know how you WORK!! Just gimmee something easy for a change, ok :) thank you and dankie :) Like writing for the Cosmopolitan would be just grand, where I work when I want to and get LOADS of free Clinique and Estee Lauder samples to use!! (just saying)

* I demand to be given a faster metabolism (I remind you about my potato butt) and no I dont want it that fast that I become anorexic and my family tackle me and shovel cheeseburgers down my throat, just a happy medium thanks... a bit better than now because at the moment I smell cheesecake and I pick up 500 grams

* I want to be ridiculously happy (and no I do not want to develop some drug addiction that makes me lose my marbles and get schizo and I walk around thinking Im Mary Poppins... not THAT kind of happy ok!!!)

* I want to do lots of exciting things this year (I'll leave that to your discretion universe BUT when I say 'exciting' I do NOT mean getting stuck on the side of a highway on my own at 3am with a dead cell phone battery and the only person who stops to help me is a one eyed man with a hook on his arm and 'Thinks Im real purty')

* I want lots of Money!! (And NO this is not to come my way through any form of inheritance I warn you *evil look*)

* Lastly I want everyone to be safe and happy (brownie points brownie points) :)

So thats what I want for this year :) No New Years resolutions because lets be fair, who EVER sticks to that.  Im going to gym 5 times a week becomes... Im going to walk to the fridge without begging DALEkins to bring me a sweetie.  Im going to lose 10kg's this year becomes... Im going to buy bigger pants..... although I HAVE been to gym twice this week already and my bum and hips feel like they've been unhinged somehow.... Im telling you FASTER METABOLISSSSSSSSSSSSSM!  Just give it to me and no one has to get hurt!

Be safe everyone and happy new year, and for the love of Rick Astley go easy on yourselves :)

Long time no write - Lazy arse

Eat more apples...