Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Never bring a foot to a bee sting fight...

There I am, waking up on a beautiful sunny Sunday morning, with all intentions of going outside to weed my garden... because to be honest I think I lost a relative in there and I can hear their faint yelps for help, but think the lions have gotten to them already... So I unlock the gate and step outside and immediately feel this crunch under my foot and something juicy squelching up between my toes... smushed a snail... oh the horror, I felt like such a cretin! Why the feck is he waltzing along just outside my front door dammit... a sign I tell you, I should of stopped right there... a premonition of sorts.

But alas, I continue outside to the wendy house, get the gardening tools out and oh my God my foot is on FIRE!!! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeee aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh....!!!  Dale runs out thinking Im being hacked to death by the garden gnomes... and there he is... the bee... embedded nicely in the top of my foot not going anywhere and pumping like theres no tomorrow!

AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh Dale Im dying get him out get him out... so Dale comes and flicks him to high heaven and treats my injured limb by dousing me in vinegar and honey... don't now whether he was trying to help me or marinate me!?

And here I sit... 3 days later with a foot thats the size of a bowling ball and looks diseased and about to fall off.. to say I am having an allergic reaction would be an understatement... I could put my foot in my mouth without any ridiculous yoga... I just have to lean over 2 cm's and I can reach my big toe.... thats erm... IF I erm wanted to put my foot in my mouth....um... :)

Moral of story... screw gardening... bees are the devil... and what comes out of their bums actually helps to take the sting away... :)

Eat more apples...