Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Why why whyyyyy Delilaaa

So after many Coffee Tequila's, whiiiine and Jaegerbombs last night, you can imagine that I wasn't feeling too frisky today. As a matter of fact the words “kill me, kill me now before my stomach tries to climb out of my body on it's own” entered my mind... a few times. It only entered my mind though because I was way too scared to open my mouth! I have a tequila allergy. Pukealoto-litis. I developed it after copious amounts of tequila found it's way into my system throughout my 20's (oh my blessed youth), and then my liver got gatvol and declared “I SAY NO! Thou shalt not passssssss”.

(Who made my liver boss anyway?) *narfy face*

Anyhoo, it was all my fathers fault. He likes Phuza Thursday. And he likes his tipple. He also likes to call me a pissy if I don't imbibe. So who am I to deny him his wishes. (I will remember all this bullying though when he gets older and needs me to help feed him. So pops, what's it gonna be today? Epol or Whiskas? Baha don't feel sorry for him, we talk about this all the time. I usually say these kinds of things after he snaps his fingers at me and says “whats your name again?”) ;)

He forced me to drink all this booze (not really, incase he reads this *whisper*) and then tied me down and made me watch Tom Jones (in a fetching green sequinced jacket I might add) singing “Why Why Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Delilaaaaaaaaaaaaa”


So imagine my horror of all horrors this morning when I remember “Gods you have 2 meetings today!!” which loosely translates into “Oh fuck-knuckle! Now I have to get dressed up into something that looks like the colours match (and not like a bag lady) and I s'pose I can't go to work in my slippers today” *sad face* (I think any person who sets meetings for a Friday should be covered in honey and thrown on an ant hill – You HATE me).

Anyhoo, so I had to work today. Imagine that. I had to CONCENTRATE... 

...on a Friday!

But now, I am going to sloth it on the couch, and ring my little bell! "Dalekinssssssssssssss... wine pleaseeeeeeeeee!" (Hair of the dog). ting-a-ling-aling!

 ... "I can hear you mumbling under your breathe you knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, and no I can't fit this wine glass up my hoofnannyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy"

 "....You're just gonna have to get that bell off the rooooof tomorrow you knowwwwwww!"

Some people, I tell you... ;)

Have a good one!

Gone With the Wind

10 Things about poo