Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Driving into Miss Daisy

Oh I am thoroughly amused. I decided to gander over to Google Analytics to have a bit of a looksey at my blogs stats. (I like looking at graphs and pie charts and making comments like “there's been hike in the stats” well, because it makes me sound feck clever, and is a vast improvement on my usual “look that big colored circle thing looks like a cheesecake with slices out of it” …. hmmm... cheesecakkkkke.

Anyhoo, so I happened to notice that one of my posts was getting quite a few clicks, and here's why:

Keywords typed into search engine: “THREESOME” blog

Now this I find freaking heee-larious because if you've read my posts, erm, you'll know my threesome post was not exactly about 3 people bumping uglies in the moonlight. No, no, alas, the pussy featuring in my story, was of the actual “feline” variety, and was about how Dalekins and I have to share our bed with him or he shreds us to bits!

How sad those people must have been, using all that energy to search for threesome stories.. finding my blog. Success! Putting on some soft music (or that cheesy 80's porno base guitar kinda music “bow chicka bow bow”) Getting the tissues and hand lotion ready next to their computers and settling in for a nice long … um. Read.

And then desperately trying to MAKE my post be about an actual threesome when they start to cotton on to the fact that I am actually talking about our cat.

So by cat she definitely must be talking about va-jay-jay, and by “snoring” she must be meaning “grunting with pleasure”! Hey... they have to trrrrrry, they've wasted atleast R10 worth of vaseline lotion on their hands already!

God in heaven! That kind of stuff will get you locked up by the po-po and get you a hefty fine with the SPCA you dirty dirty fiends!

Soooo I thought I would be a smart arse and add lots of porn titles to my blog and see HOW MANY OF YOU PORN lovers HAVE GOTTEN THIS FAR IN TO MY BLOG by now thinking I'm about to talk all hot and heavy like *snicker*

Oh no no I really am about to.. please stay *flutters lashes*

I found some very provocative titles for your perusal *wiggles eyebrows*:

Gangbangs of New York On Golden Blonde How Stella Got Her Tube Packed In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon Saturday Night Beaver Sick Degrees of Penetration Legally Boned Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves) When Harry Ate Sally Romancing The Bone Lord Of The G-Strings White Men Can't Hump Ocean's 11 inches Edward Penishands

Bye now, I'm off to go watch “Free my Willy”...

*wipes a tear* that Willy gets me everytime....

Martha Stewart, kiss my hiney!

Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun