Well hello there...

Welcome to my blog. Brb... I'm making memories (read as: Wine. I'm going to get some wine...)

Hobby Shmobby

So apparently if you want to make money from your blog, you must blog about something you’re good at. Something other people will find helpful. Like em, tips maybe? (Never bath with a plugged in toaster)… that, or I fear I may have to flash my bits. Um that may have come out wrong. I don't mean that if you bath with a plugged in toaster THAT I am going to show you my bits. I mean, that was a tip... or another way of making money would be to flash my bits... there was a pause. Ohhhh what would it matter if I did flash anyway, you would have popped your clogs if you were jacuuzing with a squillion volts and wouldn't see anything anyways so I digresssssss!

God I’m screwed.

I’m not good at anythinggggggggggggggg *stomps feet*

I don’t even have a hobby! No really.

I saw a psychologist years back, who asked me to list all the hobbies that I have. I smiled like a loon and thought “Oh Gods out of all the psychologists I could have picked, I had to pick the one with a scrapbooking business on the side!! I don’t want to buy a pop out sticky thing that spells out my name!! I want to know why I sometimes have this compulsion to push people down the escalatorssssssssssss!” (Ok not really – You’re perfectly safe in my company *twitch*)

So anyhoo, what am I good at. Zippo. Niks. Nada.

Balls! I am doomed to mediocrity!

Lets try make a list shall I:

· I can do this really funny trick with my baby toes, I can wiggle them about independently (I reckon I could be a foot pianist!) – So maybe a youtube video!? Pay me R500 and I’ll wiggle my little toe, just for you *wiggles eyebrows* (I feel dirty all of a sudden and I don’t know why!) · I can make farty noises with my armpits (this took serious bath time to learn I’ll have you know!) There MUST be a market for this, it’s a classic! Lessons perhaps? · I have a very expressive face? (No this is not a nice way of saying I look like Frankenstein) But what use, what use is this I ask!!! Pffft. Facial Muscle yoga? · IcantypewithoutputtinginspacesandstillreadwhatIwrote (You know what I just noticed! When you are taught punctuation in school, our teacher always taught us that a “comma” is a pause, so “hold your breathe”. Fook me, this explains why I nearly always pass out when reading badly written stuff...! And maybe also why I’m a bit slow?) · I can ALMOST Hulla Hoop … well I’ve managed to keep it up… once. WHY IS IT SO HARD!!!! I will OWN you you stupid hulla-hoop! · I do a fantastic impression of a giraffe walk (only when I wear high heels though – Ye, no ramp modelling for me. And that’s the ONLY reason ofcourse) So tips on how to walk gracefully? Shurrup… I love giraffe. I reckon they look graceful as all feck! · I do an AWESOME evil demonic girly voice (always gives Dalekins the ubercreeps and gives him goosebumps *evil snicker*) Not very useful though is it… unless you want to scare the be-jay-zuz out of someone.

I still have 3 fingers left to count on!!! What the hell!

See what I mean. I am screwed. *sighs*

Oh my word, I just did it again. I held my breath while reading that sentence!

Let's get back to that...

When is enough, enough?