About Moi?

These about pages freak me the fuck out. What are you supposed to write?

 I'm just a 40-summin year old fox, standing in front of a bottle of wine, asking it to love me...

I like peas.

I don't like balloons. Don't bring those things near my face, I will throat punch you. There is a reason that you can describe arseholes using balloon analogies! Exhibit A: That dog's arsehole looks like a balloon knot... See? *mic drop*

I'm a mom, I'm a wife... both of these may be the reason I occasionally day drink. I love them to bits, and they tolerate me.

I could motorboat some cheese cake right now.

I have no filter, use appalling language and I'll grossly disappoint you with my drivel some days, and other days, I might make hot liquid come out of your nose while you snortle. 

Snortle.... is that even a word. Snortle.

Hang on. Let me Google that shit.

Snortle it is.

P.S I saved this image of me using the "Dramatically Cool" filter cause, you know... I'm Dramatically cool.