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31 Mar 2009

Long time no chat…

Author: Tash | Filed under: Uncategorized

Ok so I haven’t written on my blog since the 80’s! But here I am again I’ve been pretty busy on my article and it’s giving me carrots! Instead of choosing an easy subject to write on while I’m still LEARNING… like.. ‘The mating ritual of the lesser spotted sea slug’, oh no no, I have to go and choose a heavily loaded topic about women not wanting children… and do you think I can get a single quack to talk to me… hell no. Ive been turned down by about 4 psychologists… (maybe it’s because I call them quacks?) which is beginning to irritate my last nerve I must say.

So I’m starting to consider making stuff up. Like in my expert opinion it is a fact that within the next 2 months men will be able to give birth for us! Isn’t that just bloody amazing! Don’t fret boys… just imagine pulling your foreskin over your head and sneezing… I imagine it to be pretty much the same as us poeping something the size of a watermelon out of something the size of a grape!

So what else.Â Well Dalekins has settled nicely in (holds nose) ‘Saaaaaaaaadnton darlinkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.‘ He now says things like ‘espresso’ and um… well that’s all I have for now. He absolutely assures me that he doesn’t work with any hot women… or so he says *glowy eyes*… *smiles sweetly and puts the knuckle dusters away* But so far so good, even though he wakes up before sparrows fart. 4:45am. Mind you he has this lovely little harp for an alarm. Only it gets louder when he doesn’t switch it off quick enough… so my sweet dreams get shattered every morning and I wake up feeling like Im in a Hitchcock fliek about to be attacked by birds… well ok so I don’t eally know if that movie actually HAD any harps but you get my point!

Baha, Dalekins just yelled at me from the couch (actually he’s sitting a meter away from me) ‘You better not be writing about me agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain’… ofcourse not sweetums

Anyhoo, to my friend Janabanana and Aunty Pam who lost their gran and mom this week. My thoughts are with you. Any lady who DEMANDS ice-cream before eating any other kind of food is a lady with class in my book!

Oooooh oooh you’ll be so proud. Dalekins and I have finally hired a gardening crew to come and sort our jungle out! Dale phoned the guy who told us that our garden should cost about R90 to clean…. bahahaha clearly this was before he saw it. I wish you could have seen the look on his face when he came in and saw the garden…. as if Id just asked him to eat the slugs that he found instead of rip out some weeds!! Ok well I say ‘rip out some weeds’ but to be fair… every time I go out into my garden I first don my Indiana Jones Outfit and duct tape my machete to my arm! (It’s the lions… they always try and knock your weapon out of your hand)! So anyway, what was meant to cost R90 has ended up costing us R300… and theyre coming back next Saturday …so another R300 *cough* and this time he said with a big lump in his throat ‘I’m going to bring some more guys I think!’ Pretty soon it’s going to be me frolicking in my nightie singing ‘the hills are alive’ whilst I swan around the rosebushes…

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Long time no chat…

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